so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
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