i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Randomize
