Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
jump out the window naked night went bad
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize
