Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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