Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
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