So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize
