btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Randomize
