i just wanna soil my oats bro
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
