One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
