I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
