I think my vagina is haunted
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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