Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I could make wine with my vomit
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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