I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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