me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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