you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
we made out on top of his cat.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Randomize
