I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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