Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Randomize
