I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Come see our sink grown plant.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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