I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
