im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
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i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
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Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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