He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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