cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize
