Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
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