Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
