I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
