Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
