thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
