If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize