Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
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