Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
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