Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
