Grow some girl-balls and come out already
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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