Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
