i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Randomize
