So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
