it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
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