Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
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