Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize