So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
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