He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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