Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Randomize
