Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
