Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
