it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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