yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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