I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
