shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
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