Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
