Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
