fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
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