Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Randomize