actually, I'm a sock model
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize
