officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
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