first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
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Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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