Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
and you fell through a lawn chair
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