And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I think my nap took me to another dimension
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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