3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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