yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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