i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize