Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Randomize
