I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Randomize